Why do we get depressed?
How is it that some of us are effected differently by this source of sorrow?
Picture a beach in your mind, sunny and sandy with clear skies and golden beaches. Now picture clouds moving in over the horizon, lightning and thunder blocking out the rays of the golden sun. This is a pretty exact description of what happens in my mind when the feelings set in. What happens then? I see the sparkle in a rusty razor blades edge. I have the arcane urge to laugh at the most sinister of current world events. I paint my windows black like it's midnight all day long, I let the crickets roam freely through my home. Those last two things, I don't really do those things. Why? Because I get too depressed to bother. I sleep all hours I'm not at work, I sit in the bathtub for hours on end, pondering if I should sink to the bottom and open my lungs to the hot water around me, or maybe, cut into the soft flesh of my wrists submerged under the water, a warmer red caress surrounding my body as the world starts to fade to black. But then, one thing, and one thing alone, stops me.
Thoughts and images of my children, and their reactions, to my final statement of greed and self worth!
No comments:
Post a Comment